Wednesday Spendsday

Hello, friends and lovers.  As you know, Wednesday is my day off... but, I have some things to tell you and I just ate ice cream at Cold Stone and I can't sleep yet.  Sugar high, I guess.  Also - I'm a bit lactose intolerant, so my stomach is not so friendly at the moment. Also - I'm just so excited about my news!

First up - next week, missalannyus.com will be featuring guest bloggers for Crush of the Week, Tuesday Top Ten and Ask Miss Alanny.  Maybe even for Fist Pump Friday... who knows?!  Anyone out there want to write about the awful shows you love and watched this week (under your clever pseudonym, of course)??  Just let me know!  My good friends and fantastic writers Bex-n-Fx, Abbis Cadabbis, and Sweet Bethie Jean will be filling in for me for the week of August 23rd, and I'm super excited for you and me both. 

And what will I be doing instead of writing my own content, you ask?  Well, I have some very important things on the horizon.  Namely, turning this generic looking piece of crap into a real website.  So, I'll be spending a lot of time trying to move that forward.  Also - trying to figure out how to infiltrate myself into the homes of people who aren't on my facebook friends list.  Because, seriously... that's the entirety of whom comprises my readership.  Some of my best friends aren't on facebook... and also aren't reading my blog.  Because they don't remember to... and also because they are obviously the type of people who just really aren't online, ever.  But let's forget about those freaks and focus up:  operation infiltration is in progress as of now, persons.  People who don't know me personally deserve to read this too, you know... let's make this happen!

Obviously, my first instinct is to go door-to-door, trading handjobs for page hits.  Putting some extra ass in the standard canvass, if you will.  (Anyone who gets that joke is ... Bex).  However, that would be very time consuming, and with my audience proving to be mostly female, I don't even know if it would be all that successful.  So, I says to myself, "Self?  What is a good way to bribe the ladies?"... and luckily, being a lady myself (a super classy one, too), the answer came to me in a flash:  GOODIES!!!!  (Not my goodies!)

So, by now you realize that this means swag.  I'm getting t-shirts printed for the launch of the new site, and I will mail you one for free!  BUT, there is a catch....

I want you to take a photo of yourself wearing it, URL fully readable, and post it as your profile picture on your facebook page.  I'll accept myspace, if you use that and not fboo, but you will have to explain to me why you are still on myspace... loserface.  Twitter is also debatable; I can't deny that it is highly trafficked, but I have yet to understand why it's so popular.  I'm on there, though, as I will use any medium to pimp out this blog... including the physical bodies of my friends...

So, how do you get your t-shirt?  First - sign up here as a follower.  Second - leave a comment stating that you want a shirt (and thereby stating that you agree to the photo part, also).  Please do this even if you already left me a message when I sort of spilled the beans about my idea on facebook earlier.  I will contact you later for your address and shirt size.  There will be more details at the time, and the plan is for this to take place by/near the end of September/early October.  I'm also going to order some other crap... I haven't decided on the specific tchotchkes yet, but basically, I'll be giving you stuff and you will be giving me new readers.  Say, maybe a bumper sticker for every girl you refer... some stationary for every fabulous gay... and a car for every straight dude (that you can prove thinks I'm more amusing than I am a crazy, bitter bitch). Sound good?  Kidding aside - what I'm really planning to do is give you whatever you want if you promise to use it in public and/or give it out to the public.  You understand what this is, right?  STREET TEAM!!!!!!!!!  (But, you know, a more mature version... less skateboards.... or not, I don't care). 

I need to remind you guys to click on my ads.  Pleeeeeeeeeeease.  If I can make money from this, I can stop wearing blazers.  Isn't that what everyone wants for me?  A blazer free life?  I just want to leave the Working Girl suits to Melanie Griffith and write full time from my house... and you know what kind of suit I'll be wearing then!  ..... Sorry.

See you tomorrow for Ask Miss Alanny :)

P.S. - Do any of you out there have web design/graphic design experience that goes beyond taking a Dreamweaver class in college when you needed one credit hour to officially graduate and didn't learn anything because you were kind of messed up in the head at that particular time and also already had all but maybe one toenail of one toe of one foot still in the door?  Holla.