Sunday Special Product Review

I promise that all my product reviews won't be dog products, but tonight we are talking about Uptown Dog's Brandied Pear dog shampoo.  I got this as a gift, and decided to try it out for the first time tonight.  Because, you may not know this, but, tonight was tubby time over at the Pugsley household!

First - a few things out of the way:  yes, my real last name is Pugsley, and yes, I have a pug, and no, I didn't get him specifically because my last name is Pugsley, and yes, my dog's last name is Pugsley, but it's not his first name, his first name is Hamlet.  Most of you already know all of this, but a) every time I go to a new vet, groomer, doggie daycare, etc., I walk in to an enthusiastic "Hello there, Pugsley!," and I'm sure the person is talking to Ham, but it isn't the correct way to greet either of us, so it's weird, and b) a couple people I've met since getting the dog have actually thought that I was calling myself Alanna Pugsley as some sort of super creepy extension of my fondness for him.  Here's a cute story, though - the sire of Ham's litter was named Pugsley... which is just another reason that we were meant to be :) <3

So, here's another thing you need to know: Hamlet HATES baths.  He hates water, he hates being wet, and I even think he hates the way everything echos in the bathroom.  Sometimes he likes to lay on the rug while I take a bath, but if I'm in there singing in the shower, he takes himself on down the road. 

The last thing you need to know?  I'm currently dog sitting for another pug, my mother's dog Daisy Mae, and this double pug experience over the last two weeks has made me positive that Hamlet needs no brothers or sisters.  At this point, I literally don't remember what it is like to breathe without a dog on my chest, not to mention what it's like to type while actually able to see the screen.  Pugs need a lot of attention, dudes.  But they're pretty good at earning it with their obscene cuteness.  I mean, really... look at this shiz:

Pep talk.

Daisy was ready to jump in.

As usual, Ham had to be "placed" in the tub.

Sometimes he looks at me like he knows I'm going to put the picture I'm taking online.

After getting the kids in the pool and making sure they were appropriately soaked (which I have to do by filling a cup and dumping the water from it on them... someone please get me one of those removable hose shower head things for Christmas...), I got ready to lather them up with the new shampoo.  I opened the cap and tried to squeeze some of the soap out, and apparently tried too hard, because it came flying out and landed not at all on the dogs or even in the tub, but all over my dress.  A few things to note here: 1. I shouldn't be bathing dogs in a dress if I feel protective of the dress... so, I'm dumb, 2. the consistency of this shampoo is super weak, and with but the slightest squeeze, it flew out of the bottle...and this is the only part of this mishap that isn't my fault, 3. the opening of the cap was facing me, not the tub... so, I think if it's 2/3 my fault, I pretty much deserved for this to happen.  Although, as this is a product review, I will point out again that the consistency of this shampoo was wicked loose - like dollar store weak.  I use Johnson's No More Tears to clean Ham's face, and you all know what this is like, right?  It's the baby shampoo.  Anyways, this Uptown Dog stuff is less thick than that is, for sure... and that stuff is to clean the hair of mostly bald infants. 

The lather was good, and even though it was really runny coming out of the bottle, once it was on the dogs it was as manageable as you would want it to be, which for me means that it didn't run into the dog's eyes and snouts, which makes Hamlet even more angry about taking a bath, and at that point he usually just jumps out of the tub, even if he has to crawl over my shoulders to do it.  Actually, with two dogs in the tub today, I can't believe that Ham didn't make an escape, as I was more distracted than usual.  Unlike my dog, though, Daisy Mae loves baths, so she wasn't hard to handle.  My weirdo mom takes Daisy in the shower with her all the time, so she doesn't fear getting wet like Ham does, I guess. 

Tubby Time!

Overall I liked this shampoo just fine.  It smells good, even if I don't know how in the hell a brandied pear is supposed to smell, and it lathered quickly and not out-of-controllably, which was appreciated when bathing two dogs at once.  Usually when bathing Hamlet (by himself), I like to use Big shampoo from Lush on his coat, and the Johnson's Baby Shampoo on his face and bald spots/belly/genny area.  Ham has skin allergy issues, so he sometimes needs some exfoliation.  He's also a pug, and keeping those wrinkles clean is no joke.  I highly recommend that pug peoples use the No More Tears for the general wrinkle maintenance.  For all dogs, another really good Lush product to use as a shampoo is The Olive Branch.  It has olive oil in it, which is really good for their coats and skin, and it smells delightful.  ANYWAYS - I couldn't do Ham's whole routine today for fear that he would bolt while I was scrubbing the other dog, and this Uptown Dog Brandied Pear Dog Shampoo did the quick trick right nicely. 

Clean baby girl!

He might hate the tub, but he loves the towel down <3

Ham always likes the part where I wrap him in a towel and give him a massage, but with two dogs this was hard.  That has nothing to do with the product; I just wanted to tell you something else that is adorable about my little boy.  After a bath, he not only lets me wrap him up and hold him like a baby, he forces me to.  If I don't have a towel or blanket, he will try to get under my shirt!  It might be because he can't stand being wet and wants to feel warm, but at least part of it is because he loves me so much.  Daisy tries to force me to hold her like a baby 24/7, so nothing unusual about her acting the same way today as Ham does after the bath.  Thank goodness they are both small dogs and I haven't lost any arms yet, because that was a whole lot of pug babies to snug.

I will give the Uptown Dog Brandied Pear Dog Shampoo a B.  Not an outstanding dog shampoo, but it got some points in there for that sophisticated pug featured on the label.  No other breed looks quite as clever in a tux and top hat - am I right?

One last thing to share: now that they are dry, Daisy smells really good - like pears, actually, but Hamlet just smells like he always does... which is like Fritos.  Sorry, Uptown Dog, but you lost the "plus" on your B when you didn't make my dog smell good for at least one night.  The Lush stuff, by the way, makes him smell good for almost three days!  Not that it's so bad... I mean, I think Hamlet smells like a dog, and I happen to find the way dogs smell comforting.*  I don't care what that makes you think of me... Hamlet Ralph Pugsley is more devoted to me than you'll ever be, so why shouldn't the way he smells make me feel comfortable??

I'm not drunk.

*Except Daisy Mae.  She started smelling like a foot, which is why we had to set aside some tubby time in the first place.