I joined an online dating service and it is going pretty well so far. I recently began communicating with a great guy. We have been talking and texting for a little over 3 weeks. He lives 2 1/2 hours away, but we both agree to make that work as best as we can. Yesterday, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We have not met in person yet. I really really like him and enjoy talking to him everyday.
Is it odd to be "dating" someone whom you've never met?
Thanks,
Internet Dater
Dear Dater,
Thank you for sending in your question. I have to take a moment, first, to make a confession: I too have been part of the "internet dating" club. While my experience was pretty much horrible, I am going to try to look at your question from an understanding, yet unbiased point of view.
.... yeah, sorry. I can't. Unfortunately, I've done the research, and I conclude that there are only (and I mean ONLY) two types of guys who use online dating sites: 1. socially inept guys who haven't been in the same room with a female (non-relative) since high school, and 2. guys who want to bang as many girls as possible and have found this forum to use as a catalyst in doing so. It may be too early to tell which bag this dude you're online flinging falls into, but asking you to be his girlfriend before you've met IRL? That's a big sign pointing to #1. Cause #2 doesn't like the word "girlfriend." It's a GOOD sign that you enjoy talking to him, though, and if there truly is someone out there for everyone (there isn't), then maybe this just means that you are a bit of a social ra-tard yourself, and you've finally found the love of a lifetime. Isn't that what everyone wants? To just have some sort of connection that you can hold onto when convincing yourself that all of your poor decision making isn't really all that bad? Well, I guess what everyone really wants is to stop questioning the decisions because you feel sure and safe and all that crap. But, that's just not realistic. I mean, you could feel those things, but you shouldn't. You're never safe and you should NEVER feel sure. I'm so sorry. Not just for you, but for me, too.
In all seriousness, dear reader/question writer and anyone else who is in an internet relationship, it is sort of odd to consider yourself in a relationship with someone you haven't met. BUT, that's just MY opinion. Some people might find the fact that you've only been talking for 3 weeks more alarming, but I personally have a habit of jumping right in (and usually right back out) in that amount of time. I've done plenty of things in the name of some sort of boy/girl sitch that at least 90% of the people reading would find odd, if not disturbing and/or disgusting. Men are difficult and often horrible people, and whenever I have let my cold black heart melt a bit for one of them, I later feel like a total moron and consider jumping in the Ohio River to rid the world of such an idiot. But, if it IS true that there is someone out there for everyone... okay, I still think there isn't, but I'm human and of course I will make similar mistakes again. Admitting that makes me want to die and I'm dead serious about that.
Ask Miss Alanny! Every Thursday, sometime before midnight :)
P.S. - Miss Alanny is DONE with internet dating, and you can take that shit to the bank. Whatever that means.
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