dear miss alanny,
long time reader, first time writer. here's my dilemma: my childhood hero has passed on to a better place, one that has as much style as she, and i'm feeling lonely and lost, or as she would say "like a june bug on the only lily pad in a pond on a hot summer's day". who should i look to as my new moral compass? who do you believe should be my new hero? love and kisses,
salty in cincy
Dear Salty,
Thank you for being a reader. I’m sorry to hear about your childhood hero passing, and it sounds like you’re finding it difficult to move on. I have a dear friend whose favorite show is The Golden Girls, and whom I was positive would grow up to be a fabulous, real-life Blanche Devareaux. Even though she has lamed out a bit, I have a feeling the passing of Ms. Rue McClanahan today is making my friend feel very similar to how you’re feeling. Everyone needs an idol: I have several fierce bitches that I look to for inspiration and moral support. I am not willing to give up Celine to you, as I feel that I already have to share her with enough crazy French Canucks who don’t get her like I do, but I will offer you Erykah Badu. For some reason, I feel like the two of you would get on nicely, and I can not recommend worshiping strong, black and proud women more. They don’t let you down. And they let you know when they’re getting tired of your shit. Also, I think writing in all lowercase letters might fly in Baduland, so you’re good there. It would upset Celine; English is her second language so the careless and improper use of it would confuse her and please just be careful with Celine, people! She’s prego with twins! And her husband is older than Santa Claus!
Anyways, thanks for the questions. Please send your "Ask Miss Alanny" questions to me at facebook.com/alannpants.
i think erykah badu was an excellent choice for this reader - you are exactly right when you say that they seem like they would get on well. another good choice might be the strong and proud ms. sue "i'll kick you square in the taco" sylvester. she's a good role model for anyone. also, your friend who loved the golden girls, she's probably just in a really gray area because, if she's your age, she's too young for silky jams or sexy sequined pantsuits. just a thought.
ReplyDeleteI just really had a strong feeling about the connection between Salty and Erykah Badu... but, you're right, Sue Sylvester is an ideal role model for anyone who knows anyone who could use a kick in the taco. And don't we all know at least one of those people?
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