No Matter What They Take From Me, They Can't Take Away My Dig Nuh Teeeee

Hello there!  I'm sincerely sorry that my regularly scheduled blogs are way off track this week.  I'm on a "stay-cation" (I'm rolling my own eyes), so you'd think that I would have OODLES of time to blog, but between my computer acting like a bitch on the fritz (whatever that means), and my basement smelling up my residence and causing me to have panic fits and nightmares about dead, rotting carcasses, and then other stupid, time-consuming things occurring, like dropping my dog's heart worm pills behind the fridge (this seriously resulted in almost an hour of moving/retrieval/moving back... mostly the moving back part) and catching my oven on fire and having to evacuate my own premises, I've been somewhat busy.  Oh, and then I thought I had the stomach flu on Monday, but I'm feeling okay now, and I don't know what that was all about, but I'm making the choice not to share anymore about it, because... well, if you don't know why I shouldn't provide details of what might be the stomach flu, then you really don't want to hear it.

So, I guess you guys enjoyed the VMA's recap blog, huh?  The single entry views on that blog have beaten my record by twice as many.  That's right - my second most highly read blog, which is my Reunion Recap, just didn't grab the amount of attention that anything mentioning Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift can.  Not surprising, considering I don't imagine that particular entry appealed to anyone outside of the Bath Class of 2000, but who knows what sort of nosy buggers are fishing around in here.

Anycrap, Blogspot now includes a feature that breaks down page hits, and it tells me that, on occasion, this here ramble fest of mine comes up in searches.  I'm no dummy - I know how many people search for Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift, and recapping the VMA's was partially a strategic test.  It was also partially because I'm addicted to the World of Entertainment and I enjoy talking about it.  The remaining part was because I could just type what I was thinking about something I was watching on tv, and it took so little effort and energy, and it resulted in a easy, breezy, beautiful blog, and that is just gravy, baby.  Anyways, now that I know this strategy works (meaning, talking about stuff like celebrities and tv shows and whatnot might bring in new readers), I think I need to make a little regular somethin somethin' happen.

People seem to like recaps.  I have fun writing recaps, particularly about any part of pop culture, as I feel my opinions in that field are of the utmost expertise and should be heard by the masses.  I'm not positive why, really, but I just feel that way.  I'm not even kidding you when I tell you this deep secret of mine:  when I watch those shows with talking heads giving commentary on any old thing - lists of whatever, and especially I Love the (Decades) - in a completely irrational way, I feel hurt that no one called me to add my two cents and give some good sound bites.  I am a First Class, Grade A pundit.... I believe.  When Best Week Ever was on, I felt tortured watching it, because I was so sure that I should have been invited to that party - I mean, there were plenty of unknown nobodyfaces on there, some even younger than me (that hurt more than anything!)... anyways, somewhere during my recognition of my completely unfounded feelings of betrayal, I made the decision to turn my jealously into something more proactive... and then a couple years later I started this blog :)

I've gotten off track, and for that - my apologies.  Not only did I start going off into a tangent up there, but I've actually just returned from taking a mid-blog break.  You see, I was typing up my little column on my laptop in my bedroom like that vile Carrie Bradshaw, when what pops into my head?  The eggs I had put on the stove to boil before I came back here and started typing this!  I ran out into the kitchen and luckily, they were still intact, even though all of the water had pretty much evaporated, and a couple of them were starting to crack.  I put eggs on the stove to boil one time in my first apartment in BG, and went outside with my roommates to smoke... and apparently smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, because by the time we got back inside, the place was full of smoke and there were eggs on the ceiling. This incident of the past, like the one that just occurred, took place during a no-carbs period of time, and I'm wondering if the lack of carbohydrates might equate to absentmindedness.  All the lethargy certainly makes you feel like you might be losing your damn mind.  Anyways, so I got out to the kitchen just in time, and even though I nearly set the place on fire for the second time this week, all is well and I just ate the most delicious salad.  

I've, again, gotten completely off track.  Ok - back to biz.  I was starting to tell you that I'm going to be featuring some regular recapping of some kind.  Obviously, Gleekly Weekly will be starting up again (next week!!!!!), so there's that, but I do realize that not all of my homeboys watch Glee, and while savored by few, that particular blog series will be skipped by many. So, question is - what should I recap?  I'm open to suggestions.  I even have a DVR on the way, in order to best service us in this endeavor.  American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and any other sort of television clogging, 2 to 3 night a week shenanigan is out, by the way.  In fact, I would like to rule out any reality shows in general, even though I know that isn't possible, since there isn't much else on television, but this brings me to my next order of business...

My frist attempt at bringing in the googling fools, Fist Pump Friday, is over.  Why?  Because after the last time I watched Jersey Shore, I almost gave myself a lobotomy.  Not to get too serious about a show that no one should be thinking twice about, but the misogyny depicted in this trash telethon is just too much for me at this point.  I no longer find it amusing, and I don't want to associate with it in any way. I can't promise that I'm never watching it again, but I can tell you that if The Situation found himself at the bottom of the Hudson River, I wouldn't be weeping. 

See, now I'm back again after taking another break.... this time I got distracted looking for something at bedbathandbeyond.com, and spent a good amount of time debating a purchase of something that I was not looking for at all, but happened upon... as tends to be the case when you don't find what you really want, but apparently have the urge to spend money regardless.  Bed, Bath and Beyond sent me a coupon in the mail, so blame it on them if you want, but really... if I'm being honest... I'm having a difficult time finding the motivation to focus up and write these blogs lately.

In fact, I don't even remember what else I had to say.  I'm going to try to finish up my CotW and Top Ten and post them later.  Due to a complete halt in participation from my readers (not that I ever had much of a surplus of questions coming in), I guess I'm not doing an Ask Miss Alanny this week.  I'm not gonna lie... I'm starting to get bummed out and feeling like this may not be worth it. 

Maybe I'm just a sad little bitch clown this week, guys... I don't know.