Bonus Blog: I'm Bored

I am sitting on my couch, patiently awaiting the new episode of Tosh tonight, as he will be doing a "Web Redemption" with the Double Rainbow Guy, and I'm really excited to find out if it was peyote or if he's just... a special guy.  So, I'm just chillin'... freakin' Teen Mom on in the background... I'm trying not to watch, because I feel like I might literally throw up if I watch Gary and Amber scream at each other in front of that child and, of course, break up, one more time in my life.  I can't help but look whenever Maci's BD Ryan is on, though... ANYWAYS - I feel that since, in this very moment, it has come to my attention that I apparently do have some time to waste, I should share with you a suggestion I recently got from a reader.  It follows:

I think you should begin reading all the Twilight books, as you have time, and designate a day each week where you write a "Twilight Saga Update" or some other funny title, that has your thoughts/opinions as you're reading the series.  People would read that crap since almost everyone's read the books and everyone knows how much you hate the idea of Twilight, so people would be eager to see what your latest take is on the books.  I know you're thinking, "I don't have time to read that shit!" but they are obviously a very easy read, and my ADD and kind of busy ass read all four books in less than a month.  I say, DO IT.  People will be excited.  Me included.

So, what do you think?   Should I really consider spending free time that I could be spending sleeping, or semi-watching reality tv while also semi-watching videos on YouTube while also writing a love letter to you people, reading the Twilight series? I do already have the first book (which I did NOT buy), so I could try it and see how it goes.  Let me know what you think, please.

As a special treat for you lovelies, I thought I would fill some space here by giving you a peak into my infamous daily email conversations with Abbis Cadabbis.  I think you should know by now that Abbis and I email each other all day, every day, from our respective desks.  You have probably also figured out that Abbis and I don't agree on much other than our undeniable attachment to each other.  Now, many days, Abbis and I have deep, meaningful conversations in which we discuss personal matters that I would never share.  Ok, just kidding... that happens like once or twice a year, tops.  Usually, it's crap like this:

Key:  A1 = Abbis; A2 = Me

A1: You have any plans for the evening?

A2: No plans at all, other than my top ten list.  I'm doing Top Ten Things I Don't Get.

A1: That should be a good one. Do I get a preview of a couple of the things you don't get?

A2: shark week.  katy perry.  rappers drinking cough syrup.  the color yellow.  chelsea handler cracking herself up all the time.  jeggings.  vera bradley crap.  the nuvo-ring.  i'm still brainstorming for the remaining ones.

A1: What don't you get about the color yellow?

A2: how it is supposed to be cheerful and make people happy, but it always looks dirty to me.  like smoker teeth.

A1: OK. That makes sense.

A2: do you have any suggestions for other ones, or anything constructive to say at all... ever?

A1: Very funny.  Everything I say is constructive.

A2: "What do you have against yellow?"  not constructive, defensive
"ok, that makes sense" not constructive, pointless

A1: That is not what I said.  I said "What don't you get about the color yellow?", not defensive.  Do you think that maybe you're just a defensive person?  Something I don't get.....When people tell you that you said something that you didn't say like you should just believe that you said that when you know that you didn't.  Especially when it's in writing and you can easily scroll down and prove that that is not what you said.  

A2: I don't get when people wear khakis

A1: I don't get when people start blog sites and want someone else to think up all their blogs.

A2: oh you're so right.  i do so little of the work myself.

A1: Oh, I'm just kidding.
Did Chrissy like your new place?

A2: she said she did.  but she could just be a dirty liar.

A1: She probably wasn't lying.  I'm so freakin bored here today I truly can't even think of anything interesting to talk about.

The End.

If you have any suggestions for my blog, please send them along to missalanny@gmail.com.  My sincere thanks to my buddies who are sending me ideas... and also to Abbis for being such a stick in the mud, every day of our lives.