Bonus Blog: Happy Labor Day!

Hello!  I don't know how it is where you are, but it is a quite lovely Labor Day here in Cin City!  I'm loving the pseudo-fall weather.  It is glorious outside today, as it was last night for the fireworks.  I wasn't super impressed by the "world's biggest Labor Day fireworks display," personally... I've seen a better show in Faurot Park... but, it was still a nice night to walk up to the river and hang out on the banks with drunken billies.  Anyways - I refuse to do any labor today, so I'm slightly bored and I thought I would stop by while I had a chance in my napping and internet stalking itinerary to share something about myself.  What's the news??  I'm a domestic goddess, that's what!

So, a while back, when we first moved into my apartment, my roommate and I thought about possibly having a housewarming party this weekend.  The party didn't pan out for various reasons... in fact, my roommate wasn't even here all weekend... BUT, I had been looking forward to a Labor Day cheeseball, and I'll be damned if no one coming over was going to prevent me from making one.  My friend Chrissy ended up driving down from Lima yesterday, so I didn't have to eat it all by myself!  I have to think that driving two hours each way for cheese ball and a 30 minute fireworks display means that she's a true friend.  Although, she doesn't read my blog, and I think you all know how I feel about that... well, whatever, proclaiming her dead to me here is fruitless, as she will not read this or care, and like I just said, she's most likely a true friend. ;)

So, onto the business of this blog entry...  I am going to share with you a super easy, yet quite impressive cheeseball recipe!  I make several different kinds, but the one I made yesterday (and also the one I made for my b-day party this year), as well as the easiest one to make, is the Cincinnati Chili Cheeseball!  This one is perfect if you need to make a vegetarian cheeseball, but don't want it to taste like salad dressing (I have made one using Ranch seasoning that was just... not my fave), or if you are feeling like you need to bring some Cincy flavor to a party, or maybe if you aren't eating carbs and therefore can't eat a three-way and need something to appease your chili craving.  Regardless of your reason for opening cheeseball season, this one is super easy to make, wicked tasty to eat, and the recipe follows:

Miss Alanny's Cincinnati Chili Cheeseball:

You will need the following ingredients to make a large (party-sized) cheeseball*:

• 16 oz. (two bricks) of regular cream cheese
• 16 oz (1 cont.) of regular sour cream
• 16 oz of shredded cheddar cheese, Skyline brand if you can get it (better texture); 
• 1 packet of "Cincinnati Chili Recipe" seasoning (Gold Star Chili sells one that works well, also)
• Whatever you choose to garnish/serve with it.  You probably need to buy some crackers if you're having a party.  I like to serve my cheeseballs with cucumber slices and mini-bagels, even if I can't eat those.  

*All measurements can easily be halved to make a smaller, non-party cheeseball.  Just don't eat the entire thing yourself.  I'm serious.

Step One (we can have lots of fun):  Open cream cheese bricks and put into a bowl.  Leave bowl out on the counter for about two hours.  Test softness with a fork; if it's moving around easily when stirring with a fork, it is good to go.

Step Two (there's so much we can do):  Put approx. 1/2 of the chili seasoning packet into the container of sour cream.  Stir until the contents are uniformly mixed.  This means no white spots.  Once thoroughly mixed, pour most of the seasoned sour cream into the bowl with the softened cream cheese.   If your container holds 16 oz., you are looking to add about 14-ish to the cream cheese.  So, don't scrape the bowl dry.  Stir the sour cream and cream cheese up until everything is evenly mixed.  Again - no white spots!  I use a fork for this entire process, btw. 

Step Three (it's just you and me *falsetto implied*):   Add 1/2 of your shredded cheese to the mix, about two handfuls at a time, stirring as you add.  Using two 8 oz. bags of cheese works handily for this recipie, because you will know that you've added enough cheese here when you have used all of one bag, but sometimes it is cheaper to just buy the one bigger bag, so whatever is clever, Trevor.

Step Four (I can give you more):  Once the mix is satisfactorily uniform, you need to taste it.  If you don't think it tastes enough like chili for your liking, then add more of the seasoning directly to this mix (do NOT add more of the sour cream with the seasoning already in it...you will not be able to combat the runny-ness of a too much sour cream problem, so be quite conservative with it's use).  If you add more seasoning, you need to stir VIGOROUSLY to make sure it gets mixed in and isn't hanging around in there in clumps, just waiting to chili bomb someone's mouth.  That concern is the entire basis for mixing the seasoning into the sour cream first.  I think chili bombing the mouth of a guest would be a party foul of the highest degree.  Well, I can think of some worse things to do to a guest, honestly... like, TONS of worse things, actually... but, I think I'm losing focus and I want to finish my first recipe publication!  ANYWAYS - taste and adjust as necessary, with both the chili seasoning and the cheese.  Add more of each as you see fit and stir VERY well.  You should use at least half of the shredded cheese you have, though, just for texture purposes alone.  Just be careful - you can't take it back out once it's in there, dummy.  You can carry that rule straight to the bank ;)

Step Five (don't you know that the time has arri-i-i-i-ved):  Scrape all of the mixture from the sides of your bowl so everything is in the middle.  Spread some wax paper (if you have it... if not, aluminum foil and cellophane work, also) out onto your counter.  Dump your mixture into the middle of the paper, and using the paper and your hands, form the mixture into a ball.  If your ingredients have been out of the fridge for a very long time - like, maybe if they were a perfect texture for you to begin, but you took a really long time to go through the steps because maybe you get confused easily or have never made anything before, and now everything is just a little too loose to stay in a ball - then you might need to use the paper or foil to hold everything into that shape while you keep it in the fridge for a little while.  So, if this is the case - do that.  If your ball is holding up nicely at this point, or if you are getting your droopy ball out of the fridge now and have resumed the process, this is when you use what is left of your remaining cheese and roll the ball in it.  Again, wax paper is really best for this, but if you don't have it, I hope you have a cutting board, or a really big plate/tray, or some other surface that is spacious and that you don't mind rubbing cheese all over.  So, roll your ball until the outside is covered in the shredded cheese, and then put on a serving tray or wrap up in new paper/foil/cellophane for storing until serving.

Keep the cheeseball in your fridge until it is time to serve.  For this one, I like to dump even more cheese on top, if I have it left over, because that is how Cincinnati chili is served.  I'm a fan of presentation, but if you don't think it matters, then just put your ball on a plate, stick a knife it it, and put a box of crackers somewhere in the vicinity.  Everybody likes good balls, and it doesn't take a masterpiece to make a tasty feast.  I just made up that saying... I'm not sure if it even makes sense, but regardless, I don't even subscribe to it anyways, so whatever - it was just to make you people who can't really cook feel better when you also can't make things look presentable.  This is an example of how it tends to look when I present my balls:

Granted, this isn't one of my better trays, as I couldn't find any regular toothpicks, and only had the umbrella ones and also some kama sutra ones leftover from a bachelorette party.  But, anyways - garnish as you choose.  Like I said, I like to use cucumbers, so I always do that, but no crackers or mini-bagels for me during "back to basics," and I thankfully didn't have to put any out since there was no party involved, and Chrissy's decision to come was so last minute that I didn't have time to buy any even if I was that considerate.  I also usually use cheese cubes, especially if I'm doing the little weenies!  I got the smokies since they go well with chili and cheese (like coneys!  I'm so clever), and I'm glad I bought them, because Chrissy filps her shit for some little wieners!  I like to make my guests happy, and if my guest is into tiny wieners, I'm happy to provide those, especially if I am expecting her to eat a cheeseball without crackers. 

So, your cheeseball... um, don't leave it out for more than two hours, if you can help it.  Hopefully, you have more than one person coming over, and the damn thing will be eaten.  I've got 9/10 of a giant party sized cheeseball in my fridge right now.  I'm taking mine to work tomorrow, though.  Seriously, don't make a big one for a two-person party, like I did, unless you just have somewhere to take the leftovers.  You will either eat most of it yourself - which is a terrible idea, TRUST THIS - or you will just throw it away, which is tragic.

I hope you try out my recipe, and I also hope you tell me when you do.  It's time to go back to google where I am diligently trying to find a confirmation that Jonathan from The Spin Crowd is gay.  I will see you later tonight for Crush of the Week :)